Ego Gamer launch
"Sucking news from the balls of gaming," apparently.
MOUNT DOOM, CALIFORNIA – Stardate 62004.5 – The EGN Network launches today with its brand new flagship gaming news and reviews website, Ego Gamer ( www.egogamer.net). Arch Editor Tom Jackson has put together a cracked team of experts to delve deeper and harder into the games industry than ever before.
“Ego Gamer will deliver the gaming news that other sites are too scared or conscientious to tackle, and provide reviews that will push dogmatic opinion to new levels of pretention,” says Jackson.
Ego Gamer launches with an impressive line up of news, reviews, interviews and features – first and foremost an exclusive chat with game design legend Shigeru Miyamoto on life, love and Mario. The news team uncover a disturbing link between the Xbox 360’s ‘Red Ring of Death’ and mad cow disease in an investigative feature, report on how Peter Molyneux has achieved enlightenment and cover the deepening console war crisis as Microsoft takes Sony employees hostage.
An exclusive review of Brain Trainer: Alzheimer’s Edition kicks off the games section in unforgettable style, while roving reporters attend the World Fruit Machine Championships.
Three of the Ego Gamer’s regular columnists also begin their respective sections, including gaming’s first angry man, Doug “Connect 4” Bradbury, in his Game Odium column – “Hating the industry one game at a time”; hot gaming news direct from Japan with Ego Gamer’s resident reporter, Japanoramaman – “Number one big game love!”; and un-up to date news from the New Retro News team – “Bringing you yesterday’s gaming news, today.”
“At Ego Gamer, we feel as though the fun has gone from gaming,” Arch Editor Tom Jackson explains. “Everything’s so serious now, from multi-million dollar developments to intransigent media coverage and aggressive, unforgiving player responses. We intend to poke the pointed stick of fun at the games industry until it bloody well starts enjoying itself again.”
Ego Gamer will be making weekly updates every Wednesday, or at some other point during the week. Registration is now open, and Tom Jackson invites the gaming world to come along and start building a community that cares about videogames.
“When we say we care about videogames, we mean it in the sense of caring for the aged in one of those run down nursing homes. We treat them with as much respect as the law demands, and no more. If it means we occasionally put them in wheelchairs and play ten pin bowling with them, well, that just goes to show how much we think they need a hot injection of fun.
“Games, like world politics, are important, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be fun once again. Not politics. Those are boring. I mean games.”
Visit Ego Gamer at ww.egogamer.net, and suck some news from the balls of gaming.
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For immediate release.
ABOUT EGO GAMER
Editor – Tom Jackson
editor@egogamer.net
Ego Gamer is part of the EGN Network, and is updated every Wednesday. Although it’s not something we’re likely to mention very often after today, this is a spoof gaming site. It’s just a bit of fun, but serious fun with a straight face.